My Physical Pain

Soon after you passed, Nick, the doctor put me on antidepressants. Three months later, I started feeling a lot of pain in my chest. I also started experiencing panic attacks. One morning I woke up feeling very bad. My chest was hurting a lot on the right side and my arm was hurting as well. I called one of my good friends, Rhonda, and asked her to drive me to the emergency room. The doctors did a few tests and told me my heart seemed to be healthy. A week later I was still feeling this pain, so I went to see a doctor. She sent me to have three different heart tests run. She was super sweet but was surprised that I was taking such a low dose of antidepressants. She doubled the dose and gave me some emergency medicine for panic attacks. She also prescribed me sleeping medicine and recommended that I exercise.  

A couple of weeks later the doctor called me and told me all my heart tests came back normal. She said that my heart pain was caused by my high level of stress and that I was experiencing what is known as Broken Heart Syndrome. The doctor said that all this was normal, considering my loss and grief. She said eventually I would get better. I had no idea that grieving could affect me so much physically as well as emotionally. I am feeling a bit better now with the meds. I hope that one day I will be able to be okay without them. I guess only time will tell.